SLAM! EPISODE 90
No Brand Wrestling Presents: SLAM! Episode LXXXX
Live from The Epic II Arena - St. Louis, Mo.
V/O - “Over ten years ago a small-time promotion out of Reading, PA came to existence. Over the years superstars have debuted and grown, some have retired, and others are still around today. Owners have changed. Locations have shifted. But one thing has always stayed the same. The name. Three Initials that have survived through the thick and the thin.”
The NBW logo is shown as it fades in and out showing the various designs from past to present. The voice-over by Trent McKnight continues.
V/O - “Those initials represent the past, the present, and the future. No Borders. No Boundaries. No Bull. Nothing But Wrestling. Ladies and Gentlemen welcome to the NBW!”
A video package rolls showing past wrestlers and on-screen talent from the original promoter Alex Styles to Xander Napoli onto the current: Thaddeus Boyle. Three different men with three different agendas, all of which were responsible for the success that is NBW.
V/O - “Many athletes have paved the way for the current generation entertaining the fans every week.”
Shots of Jason Kain, Maximizer, Frost, Rey Campbell, Cal Roberts, Blake Gray, Rejection, Uncensored, Jade Greene and Alan Helms filled the screen before being replaced with shots of macWICKED, Ali Amore, Lunatic, D-T, Max Hopper, High Flyer, Sam Potright, Dream Warriors, Rik Bone, Callie Urban, Heaven and Hell, Shawn Jessica Hart, Remy Leroux, Brock Metzer, The Gordon Brothers, Andrew Martin, Mat Walton, William Arthur Reagan, Nightlife USA, Sweet Daddy K, Techno Dragon and numerous others as the clips speed up to a blur.
Side to side ‘Special K’ Keegan and ‘the Colossus’ Spike Saunders fade into view before being replaced by an imposing image of the former Double Champion, ‘Superstar’ Vince Jacobs and his Cheshire-like smile.
His image is replaced by clips of the members of his Upper Echelon; Judasbleek, Warren Spade, and the Son of Malta.
They are soon replaced by the likes of Vic Gravender, Chris Moliano, Derecho, Judasbleek, Son of Malta, Torment, RaVage, Tremoid, Lexia Hart, Benjamin Jones, For The Win, Johannes Antonious de Castonovo and Aleczander of Family Keeling, Handsome Man Modeling School, Supersquad, Zed, and more as the clips speed up once more.
V/O - "The time to break the mold is now. To be somebody. To make a mark. To be..."
The NBW logo spins to life once more and fades out to the simple initials before the opening video for SLAM plays and then the initials return with the logo once more.
Clearly Another Fine Mess
“We are just two weeks away from one of the most beloved events on the calendar every year,” Melissa Vanderart’s voice narrated as we cut out of the standard video package entrance to the NBWdrone and crane cameras capturing the excitement of the St Louis crowd with signs up high.
“Spade’s Gonna Murder Derecho,” read one.
“I Was Abducted Too, Max!,” another.
Still our favourite was, “Dick Kicks For All! Literally!” with some blush around the edges. But no glitter, because that’s tacky.
“I hope everyone has their bags packed. After tonight, the nbW superstars will be trekking Europe and Asia as we make our way to Singapore!” C.G. Gains offered with professional levels of excitement.
The spotlights panning around the crowd came to a sudden halt, and then all focused on the entrance way. As the first notes of Frontline by Pillar kicked over the loudspeakers, the crowd huddled into the EpiCenter boo’d with full throat.
Striding on stage, Rune made his slow walk forward, although no one could really tell if he was happy to be back after that 30 day suspension. Behind him, and beaming with a shit-eating grin was the Paragon of the Industry himself, Zed. He took pleasure looking about the arena to see the displeasure of the faithful, but stopped his march to point back.
And Pillar gave way to Demi.
The Mascara Massacre, the raven haired beauty of nbW strut her way to the arm of ‘her man.’ It was a match made in wrestling heaven, a gift for every fan to hurl their hate at.
Together, the triplet made their way to the center of the ring, after a detour to grab a mic, naturally.
“You shits,’ Zed started as the dying notes of Confident flickered out. “I thought maybe you’d show just a little more respect to the man that is a fortnight away from winning the 25 to Life match itself!” The faithful either hated the vaulting ambition, or the idea of Zed actually doing just that, winning.
“I mean, look at yourselves. What was I thinking? You people? Having class? But that’s fine, I will forgive you when I am not only your Paragon, but King of the whole damn Hill.”
Pause for dramatic effect, and to let that windbag in section 108 tire himself out with some chant we couldn’t quite make out on the broadcast.
“I get it, you are all slow to accept change. Hell, I’d guess more than half of you are legitimately ‘slow’”, Zed powered through the megaheat. “But I have been telling you all since the calendar turned to 2017 that this was my year. That I would be your World Champion by the year’s end, capping off the single greatest year of any wrestler, ever. And 25 to Life is just the first touchstone on my way to the top.”
As she was wont to, Couli was interacting with the front row in the cruelest tones she could think of.
“And I couldn’t do it without your help,” Zed broke his soliloquy of self-aggrandizing.
He was confused when the crowd didn’t boo. And near-irate when Pretty Little Psycho hit the air.
Zhalia Fears was already halfway down the aisle before the camera’s picked her up. She didn’t bother to grab a mic. It wasn’t words she was looking to exchange when she rolled into the ring. The crowd was fully behind Zhalia, but the odds were 3:1 against her, and probably 5:1 if we were going by mass. An oversight Zed was all-but giddy to point out.
“What? What do you think you are going to do out here, Fears? Oh, no, I get it. You wanted to be the first in line to shake my hand, was that it?”
Fears cut across the face of Zed on her way toward Couli, only to be held abay by the bulk of Rune.
“Now, unfortunately for you, I generally don’t shake hands with filth like you. No, I usually offer my hand in a closed,” Zed took his hand not holding the mic up and balled it, “fist. Come now, girly. You’re the best champion these rejects could come up with?”
Again the loudspeakers cut off Zed, but this time it was Jakalope’s Digging Deep.
Quinlan made his way to the growing party wearing his standard fight gear and an “Immortal Iron Fist” tee, and taking the time to bump ‘knucks with the faithful front row.
“You too? Come on, this is just pathetic now. Don’t you remember, you hit me and you kiss your shot at 25 to Life buh-bye?”
“Seems like you think that stops me taking a pound of flesh from that ample bosom of your boy Rune there,” Quinlan had grabbed his own mic. Walking up the steps to the ring, he stood on the apron pinning the trio between himself and Fears.
“Now, as I recall, we have a score to settle. Or maybe not even that, maybe just a straight up, no bullshit fight?” The crowd liked the idea. “But as for you, oh Paragon, you made a mistake.”
Quinlan leapt over the rope to get a little cozier.
“No, you might have tricked me. You have even stolen a victory or two. You went so far as to have your fun at my expense. All great stuff, I am sure. But what you didn’t do. What you couldn’t do. What you failed to accomplish, and why you will fail to win the 25 to Life match; you didn’t take me out. Because there is nothing that will keep me from showing you exactly what type of monster has been biding its time, building with each week, you helped me find.”
“Well, firstly, thank you, I am sure that we could get around to that bit where we beat you so completely and viciously that…” Zed started before getting cut off.
“You could try. Oh, please try,” Quinlan asked in the tones of a man spoiling for a fight.
But before anything really got going, the disembodied voice of our GM boomed over the arena, “Now, this is giving me an idea.”
The camera panned around, until it and the spotlights were trained on the press box that housed the legendary High Flyer.
“It’s not like you five need another reason to tear into each other right here and now,” crowd pop. “But how’s about we make this interesting? How could we make this interesting?” Harmen played at a lost to build expectations. “How’s this; We’ll have ourselves a preview of the 25 to Life match, with an over the top rope battle royale. The prize? Well, if you win, I’ll let you pick your spot in the match.”
“Pick anyone’s spot,” Zed refuted the idea. “If Rune wins, I am getting that 25th spot. If Michelle wins,” he stopped when he got a death stare before motioning that she’d give up that type of advantage for him.
“Anybody’s place in the match? Kooky, but I like it. Let’s do-,” Harmen nearly finished before.
“If there’s going to be anyone getting that advantage,” the unappealing voice of Lucretia started as she stepped out, “get out here, Slime!”
“-it. And one more makes six. Let’s get some refs out here. Yeah, this is starting now. Oh, and before I forget, if you happen to not win the match, well, then I can’t really guarantee that you’ll even have a spot in the 25 to Life match,” GM Harmen decreed.
And nbW officials passed by Alyx Norwood on his way, looking a little hesitant, to the ring.
With all six competitors in the ring, the bell sounded.
DING! DING! DING!
Immediately, the two with the longest running feud, one that’s seen plenty of bloodshed and other tropes of hatred, Zhalia Fears and Michelle Couli traded rights. An ungraceful brawl between the two spilt into a corner of the ring.
Norwood, still a little spooked after his friend, and tetrad compadre Simon Starks was left needing medical attention after the last Slam, courtesy of the dangerous woman lurking ringside, took a second to measure up the exact situation. Quinlan made it simple for him, tossing him toward Zed and Quinlan tossed a forearm shot to Rune’s face.
Stunned with the first shot, Quinlan went to work on the crimson clad ball of muscles, post-haste. A series that went: Uppercut, chop, thigh kick, back spin kick, uppercut, chop, headbutt - Dragon Rush - pushed Rune to the ropes. Sensing the danger, and just generally pissed after taking ten shots, Rune struck back, tossed Quinlan back to the center of the ring, narrowly missing Zed’s stare down with The Royalty.
Norwood tried for the Collar and Elbow tie up, but Zed overpowered him and took him in a side headlock. Two quick fists found a home on Alyx’s forehead. Trying to escape, he looked to lift Zed and maybe hit a back suplex, but Zed kicking off the nearby Quinlan helped him turn it into a splash. That had Quinlan’s attention, and Zed was up to go nose to chin.
From the outside, Norwood got some moral support?
“Slime! Get it together!”
Zed slapped Quinlan across the jaw, begging for some response. But as he has shown in the past weeks, Quinlan was waiting his time to finally get physical with Zed, so he redirected that anger. Norwood, just to his feet, was within striking range, so he got Quinlan’s forearm shot. Laughing, Zed pulled back to hit Quinlan with a wince-inducing chop that Quinlan bared to turn back with his own to Norwood.
Chest heaving, face red, Quinlan was trying to psych out Zed, when both men were caught and taken down with a double clothesline for Norwood. Rune wandered over, but Norwood first kicked at the knee, then took the large man down with a drop toe.
Back at the melee in the corner, Fears had gained the upperhand and was throwing back elbows to a trapt Couli. She’d lay in kick after kick to the midsection until Rune had found his way near enough to yank Fears off her feet.
In the center of the ring, Norwood tried to keep Quinlan and Zed down, throwing strikes as they tried to get up. He got caught off guard when Quinlan leapt up with a jawbreaker. Zed pulled Norwood back up and lifted him into a suplex position. When Quinlan got back up a beat later, Zed rested Norwood’s leg on Quinlan’s shoulder and shifted his grip for an elevated DDT.
Back in the corner, Fears was fighting tooth and nail to keep Rune and Couli from gaining advantage. With a wild kick that knocked Couli down, Fears could finally devote her attention fully to Rune. Ducking a slow hook, Fears jumped up on the big man’s back and tried to squeeze the life out with a sleeper/choke hold. Rune fell to a knee, but got rocked back up when Fears picked up the pace to nail a high knee. Trying to shake the cobwebs, Rune didn’t even know Fears had the Hurricanrana trying to pull him over the top rope.
But just as it looked like the heaviest would be the first out of the battle royale, Fears had dropped to the outside mats, and at the feet of a cackling Lucretia. Replays would show that Lucretia did more than just laugh, raking the eyes of Zhalia and causing her to lose grip.
"Zhalia Fears has been Eliminated!" Announced Brent Williams at ringside. Likely preparing for the mighty job of 25 to Life's match.
Doing her best to help Norwood, he had found himself in the unenviable position of facing Quinlan and Zed… working together?
Indeed, it seemed they were playing a game of one upmanship, punching Norwood back and forth like that low-weighted inflatable clown you had as a kid. When Zed hit a Samoan Drop, Norwood knew he was in trouble. Using the ropes to help himself back to his feet, he turned just in time to see Quinlan spinning with that Discus Elbow - Death by Elbow. And the force was enough to carry Norwood back to, and over, the top rope to the floor.
"Alyx Norwood has been Eliminated!"
“You disgust me, Slime,” Lucretia chided Norwood, but he might not have heard her as he was in La-la-land.
Before he knew it, the match odds had just swung horribly against Quinlan’s favour. Left in there with him was the crew of Rune, Couli and Zed. He did what he could to lash out before the numbers caught up, landing hits on Couli and Rune before Zed took him down with a knee to the kidneys.
From that point, it was all three taking turns laying in kicks, and then sometimes going all at once. Finally Zed called for Quinlan to be lifted up for that he could knock his head clean off with a flying knee - ZNNIHILATION!
It was looking like Quinlan was dead to rights, but Couli had another thing in mind.
“Him, out!” she commanded, but was pointing at Rune, not Quinlan.
Rune, for as much as he can, looked angry. But Zed only asked why.
“He’s nothing,” pointing at Quinlan. “And if it’s going to be two left to fight for it, let it be you and I,” she said running a finger over Zed’s chest.
Shrugging, Zed just pointed Rune out, and the red hulk tried, unsuccessfully, to gracefully exit the match. Instead, he stumbled to the mat, both feet touching.
"Rune has been Eliminated!"
Zed, still trying to think of how he’d go forward and win without losing his girl, got his next set of instructions.
Couli simply pointed to Quinlan and asked, “Well?”
But just enough time had passed for Quinlan to gain some awareness of where he was, what day it was, etc. When Zed tried to lift him over, he found Quinlan hooking his leg, and doing his best to resist and buy time. The two struggled before an opening appeared.
She grabbed Zed by the leg and tried tossing both he and Quinlan over in one fell swoop. And she did just that. Full with vim and vigor, Couli turned back to shout at the doubters.
One the ground, Zed lay, upset and confused. When he finally looked back, he was fully enraged.
"Zed has been Eliminated!"
Quinlan hadn’t touched. Holding onto the top rope, Quinlan somehow was still in this match. And before Zed could reach out and make sure that at least it wasn’t him going to be winning the match, Quinlan swung his weight to slid under the bottom rope and back in the ring.
Turning to see this, Couli could only yell, “NO!”
She charged at him, looking to concuss with that punt kick, but he dodged and shoved her chest first into the turnbuckles. On the rebound, he took her over with a German.
Both lay on the mat for some time, gathering themselves.
Couli was first up, and used her nails to scratching lines down Quinlan’s back. She kicked at the back of the knee, and tried to ram Quinlan skull first to the mat with her Blackout finish, but he pulled out and hit a Pumphandle Neckbreaker.
When he tried to pull her up, she unleashed the great equalizer, and Quinlan, and every male watching, grabbed their family jewels. From there, she got him up near the ropes, and whaled with shot after shot, trying to have him go over.
“Just die already!”
Frustrated, and knowing she would need more momentum, Couli took off to the far ropes and came back looking lariat, but Quinlan was counting on this. He readied and then alley oop lifted her up and sent Couli flying through the air, into the unsuspecting Rune and Zed, still thinking about how they’d been played.
At the bottom of the wreck outside, two small, feminine boots were touching the mats.
"Michelle Couli Eliminated!"
DING! DING! DING!
"And your winner of the Battle Royale... MITCHEL QUINLAN!"
Quinlan had done it. Despite the odds, and not being able to actually lay hands one of the competitors, he was walking into 25 to Life with the ability to call his shot. It was a reality that wasn’t quite sinking in when one of the ref’s were in to raise his hand.
Father and Son Bonding
The show moved backstage to the locker room of the Number One Contender Warren Spade! With him at his side was his manager, Fenton Woods and their other client - Warren’s tag team partner, EZ Blaze.
“You’re gonna destroy that little mook, Declan Rich,” said Fenton. “Warren, we’re so close to the goal now, I know you can practically taste World title. But with this No Contact thing that Harmen warned us about before the show, what’s gonna happen if Derecho gets involved?”
The Monster of the Mid-South was about to finish putting the strap on his singlet, revealing his massive, barrel-like chest. He turned.
“I’ll play nice as long as he does, but if he tries to cost me my title match before 25 To Life, then I’ll make sure he never has another match of any kind: PERIOD.”
Even EZ Blaze looked a little uncomfortable by that statement, having been the victim of Derecho assaults despite holding a major victory over him. Fenton patted EZ on his shoulder.
“Hey you’re on this side of the gun,” said Fenton. “Don’t let your nerves get frayed, kid. I know we already promised you a title shot regardless of how you do in the 25 To Life match because you beat Derecho, but think on this … if you DO win 25 To Life, I can manage both champion and challenger for the big money main event at Legacy! Pinky swear, right kid?”
Blaze nodded enthusiastically and held out a pinky which Warren returned. A voice interrupted at the door.
“Derecho … you going to let this lug get under your skin, son?”
Everybody in the locker room turned to the doorway and standing there was a massive man very close to Warren’s size. His once-blonde mane of long locks had gone gray and he was looking skinner than he was in his youth, but there was no mistaking the man if you were a fan of Memphis wrestling.
“Dad,” said Warren with a very rare smile.
“Mr. Spade!” said Fenton. “Glad to see you making the rounds, old man!”
Known in his heyday as “The Golden Lion” Leon Spade, the owner of Memphis promotion Wrestling Wonder was reported to have been at the show to sell off some of his promotion’s video library for a future NBW project. But of course, like any good dad he would be there to lend his son support.
Warren and Leon embraced with a quick hug. EZ Blaze looked at the two giants and nodded out of respect.
“Thanks, kid,” said Leon. “but you don’t need to bow or nod. I’m a guy like anybody else here … a really tall guy, but just a guy nonetheless.”
“Thanks for stopping by, Dad,” said Warren. “I know it’s been a while. How’s your hip holding up?”
Leon gestured to his hip.
“The replacement is still running just fine. Sucks that I can’t do flips off the top rope like I used to but that’s all right.” he said with his dry wit. “I’ll get by … I still can’t believe they let that little shit, Jake Tockwell, in here. Talented kid as all get-out but he and his daddy have been pains in the collective Spade ass for years.”
“Right,” said Fenton with a hard chuckle. “How’s business going with the tape selling?”
“I cannot confirm or deny that things are or are not going well,” said Leon with a big grin that suggested things were going well. “We’ll hash out details later this week at NBW HQ, but I’m glad that you’re doing well for yourself, kid.”
“Thanks, Dad, means a lot,” said Spade.
“But I need to talk to you about Derecho.”
The tone got more serious.
“I’m listening,” said Warren.
Leon nodded. “This asshole has been playing you emotionally like a fiddle for a long time. I have no doubt in a fair fight, you could whoop his ass on any day of the week ending in ‘y’. But you need to keep that temper in check.” Leon glanced at Fenton. “And you need to do a better job keeping the young bull in check, you got me?”
“Yeah,” said Fenton.
“I won’t make the same mistake I did at Pride,” said Warren. “That’s why I asked for a match tonight. One of them Rich boys stepped up to the plate and his ass is going to be sorry that he did. I’m more ready than I’ve ever been and tonight, Derecho’s going to see what’s in store for him at 25 To Life.”
“Glad to hear it,” said Leon. “Look, I’ve got a special seat up front for your match tonight. Knock ‘em dead, kid!”
“Thanks, Dad,” said Warren with a smile.
The two giants shook hands and Leon slowly limped out of the locker room while Warren went back to finishing his pre-match routine. Warren Spade would face the Rich Family’s Declan Rich here later tonight.
“I can’t wait for the next match!” C.G. Gains said to the crowd as we went back to ringside for some tag team action. “The Handsome Man Modeling School have been SCREWED time and time again by circumstance! Now it’s time circumstance got a big kick right between the legs!”
“Are you kidding me?” Melissa Vandeart asked incredulously. “The Handsome Man Modeling School do have talent, that’s no question – but they’ve ALWAYS been more focused on looking good, preening and how many followers they have instead of actually WINNING matches. Then last week, they made enemies of both RAF and Flanagan and Doherty.”
“Flanagan and Doherty aren’t gonna know what hit ‘em!” Gains said. “Watch! They’re gonna turn a corner tonight, I can feel it!”
“We’ll find out! After The HMMS completely lost it backstage and sneak-attacked two tag teams, the team of Flanagan and Doherty are out for revenge right now!”
And the ring we went.
“The following contest is a tag team match set for one fall!” Brent Williams said. “Already in the ring at a combined weight of 485 pounds, they are the team of FLANAGAN AND DOHERTY!”
The two gruff brawlers stood already in the ring. They weren’t about flashiness or fanfare tonight – they wanted to kick some pretty boy ass and avenge their manhood – in both the metaphorical sense and the fact that they had their testes stomped halfway up their body unprovoked last week.
“And their opponents…”
New theme time.
“Big Rings” by Drake feat. Future.
Silver spotlights began to swirl their way across the arena. Eventually after a few seconds, the lights converged.
“PHOTOGENIC” PETER PHAM!
“TANTALIZING” TAYLOR SMITH!"
The names flashed and out from the back with actual game faces on were The Handsome Man Modeling School! Smith, Pham and Reyes were always told by critics that if they could somehow put together some wins and focus on the task at hand, they may actually be able to notch up some victories. Athletically, they were gifted, but as athletic and young as they were, they were also inexperienced.
“Making their way to the ring from Santa Cruz, California… being accompanied by “Tantalizing” Taylor Smith” They are the team of “Photogenic” Peter Pham and “The Beaut” Benny Reyes… THE HANDSOME MAN MODELING SCHOOL!”
All three men crowded around a turnbuckle to pose… okay, so maybe their game wasn’t 100% but they did look motivated to win for once. Reyes flexed, Pham did a selfie face and Smith looked mighty proud of his pearly whites. After the three men posed they entered the ring.
DING DING DING
And already, Doherty was handing Peter Pham his ass!
Right at the start of the match a big Front Dropkick from Doherty almost knocked Peter Pham loopy! The cruiserweight contingent of The Handsome Man Modeling School was picked up by his very conditioned hair…
“You want to stomp my balls, you little prick?” Doherty asked rhetorically.
A pair of knees greeted The Photogenic One right in the gut! Doherty then took him to a neutral corner.
No, he wasn’t fan of the Flintstones. That was Peter’s pretty little face being roughed up in a corner thanks to a very heated Doherty. The nasty Brit grabbed Pham and whipped him right into a corner and when he bounced back out, a HUGE Clothesline from Doherty took his head almost clean off!
“Come on, come on, come on…” Smith pleaded quietly from ringside.
This was their chance to turn the corner career-wise and The HMMS were not doing so hot in the ring right now. That’s what happened when they pissed off the wrong people. Doherty ran over and made the tag to Flanagan who was heading to the top rope. Doherty picked up Pham and held him up on his feet so his partner could dive right onto The Photogenic One with a big Diving Crossbody! Flanagan stayed on top of Peter Pham and tried for the early win right out of the gate!
SAVED IN THE NICK OF TIME BY REYES!
The muscleman of the vapid trio came in and dropped an elbow right in the back of his head! Referee Tal Nedrick was losing control right at the onset of this grudge match because Doherty came right back in to get at Reyes. Reyes punched him in the face once and tried to throw him out of the ring to clear things up, but Flanagan was already back up and he grabbed Reyes.
“Get out of my face!” Flanagan shouted.
They were definitely heated and this match was going 100 miles an hour right away! Flanagan raced over to grab Pham by his leg, but the precious few seconds he had to recover allowed him to roll forward and use the momentum to throw Flanagan out from the ring!
Doherty ran in and tried to stop Pham from getting up…
He was POPPED upside the head with a surprising Kip-Up and struck in the back of the head! That was enough to bring down the big Brit and allow Peter Pham to make the tag to Benny Reyes!
Now that The Handsome Man Modeling School had a chance to strike, Benny was about to head into the ring. Peter Pham was pulled outside by Flanagan and struck down with a Clothesline!
But he didn’t see Benny Reyes coming…
DIVING SHOULDER OFF THE APRON!
The crowd popped a little for that force and The Beaut came diving off the ring apron like a missile to strike down Flanagan for what he did to his tag team partner. Reyes got up and actually SPIT on Flanagan, showing real attitude here tonight!
Reyes was now heading back into the ring, but that’s when calamity struck when Doherty caught him with a knee as he was heading into the ring. He whipped Benny into the ropes…
He held on in the sit-out position for a cover.
Both teams were scratching and clawing for a big tag team win tonight and this match had only gone a couple of minutes! Doherty got back up and called for the end to this match quickly as he picked up Benny Reyes by his body.
His attempt at the Snow Plow failed when Reyes scurried to life and slipped out behind him. Two powerful punches caught Doherty in the jaw and Reyes tried to fight back with a move of his own. He was looking for his Alabama Slam called The Pretty Dangerous Slam… NO!
Doherty boxed his kidneys to keep him from being lifted too far off the ground. Doherty grabbed him again, but this time Reyes grabbed hold of the official. Doherty slugged him with an European Uppercut and the blow made Reyes bump into the official, sending Tal Nedrick back a step. Doherty was on the rebound…
LOW BLOW FROM TAYLOR SMITH!
In the midst of the all the commotion, The HMMS’s leader snuck in the proverbial back door and caught Doherty with an Uppercut Low Blow behind Nedrick’s back! Doherty groaned in pain and that gave Benny a chance to strike now…
PUNT LOW BLOW!
The first one might have done the trick, but the second one put an end to Doherty’s chances at having kids! Flanagan saw the second low blow and tried to do something about it, but Pham ran off the apron…
GET THE PICTURE OFF THE APRON!
Pham’s high-risk Diving Front Dropkick paid off and now they were both they were both disposed of! Reyes picked up Doherty over the shoulder back inside the ring…
THE BEAUTY MARK!
Known in some circles as the Air Raid Crash, Doherty was dumped right on the back of his neck and Reyes crawled right into a cover?
Was this it?
IT WAS! THE HANDSOME MAN MODELING SCHOOL HAD JUST WON!
Thanks to incredibly dirty tactics, but they had won a lightning-quick sprint of a match!
“HERE ARE YOUR WINNERS… THE HANDSOME MAN MODELING SCHOOL!”
Not exactly a squash of any kind because Flanagan and Doherty had given as good as they got in a short amount of time, but The Handsome Man Modeling School were not going back on their word! They celebrated outside the ring like they had just won the NBW World Heavyweight Championship from Derecho.
“We told you!” Smith yelled. “We told ALL of you bitch-tits! NOBODY’S BALLS ARE SAFE!”
The pack of dirty-fighting pretty boys had just scored a huge win to get them back on the winning trail thanks to an absurd amount of low blows (not to mention numbers) to do the deed.
Was this truly the winning recipe for The Handsome Man Modeling School?
If so, God help all of your balls.
Cash Rules Everything Around Me
If there was one man walking into 25 to Life with something to prove, he was on-screen, hair still soggy from the post-match shower. The man in question, Quinlan.
“I tell you, Hell of a performance out there. Truly.”
Like a pig hunting for truffles, it seemed no one had a greater affinity for success than the man at the helm of the In Crowd.
“Sorry,” Quinlan opened, pulling the earbuds out. With thumb and forefinger, he did his best to measure the man across from him. “Hot.. Stuff, was it?”
Brushing aside what must have been a grave insult, “My mistake, I guess we haven’t been properly introduced yet. You see, the name is Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraul Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrramirez!” said Raul with his signature exaggerated rolling R’s. Quinlan looked mildly annoyed.
“Also known as the guiding light for the greatest talent here in nbW. Also the nickname is Hot Sauce.”
Snapping his fingers, it seemed it finally clicked for Quinlan. “Wait, that’s right. You are hype man for the guy that doesn’t shut up, right? Kid has had some kind of impressive start here.”
“Rocket straight to the top!” said Raul who couldn’t help but talk up his star client even more. “And that, good sir, is exactly why I am speaking with you. I heard you out there earlier tonight, talking up like some Braveheart shit about this monster inside of you, a fight that doesn’t die. Now to me, that sounds like a man that is about to go ahead and waste maybe the single most valuable prize in the business. So I am here to do what it is I do best, Mr. Quinlan … I am here to help make shit happen!”
Not sure where it was going, but enjoying the near-poetic cadence of Raul, Quinlan simply offered a look that begged him to go on.
“You want a chance to prove that you belong in that squared circle, but talk about how glory isn’t about what happens outside of the bells, but the fight between them. I know you go by some code that wouldn’t let you feel like you’ve won if you sashayed yourself down there as number 25 and picked apart already tired and battered men on way to victory. Ergo, that little gimmick Flyer tossed at ya for winning that battle royale is in a precarious position of going for not. Now, that’d just break my heart.”
“You know, I’ve haven’t yet stopped to think about it.”
“And that’s where a dreamer like me walks into the picture to save the day. I will make this simple, because I would hate to insult you by giving you some sort of run around,” Ramirez asked, plunging his hand into his pants’ pocket. Retrieving his wallet, he asked, “How much?”
If Quinlan was aloof before, he was showing clear signs of discomfort now. “I don’t think I follow.”
“Money. Cash. Greenbacks. Benjamins. Moolah. C.R.E.A.M. Wu-Tang had something to rap about the very subject. What does it take for me to buy that winnings from you, because that is just the perfect little gift for my boy, Big Talk. You just name the price, because, hey, let’s face it, it’s not like you are going to win anyhow with Tockwell in the match.”
Quinlan let a small smile creep over his mouth as “Hot Sauce” had just stuck his foot in his. “Actually, I think you have just giving me an idea.”
“I told ya, I am a miracle worker. So, what is it? What’s it gonna take?”
Coming uncomfortably close, Quinlan leaned in to the smaller Ramirez and patted his back. “Sorry, but what I've got in mind just might be priceless. Afraid we can't make a deal on this one.”
With those parting words, Quinlan carried on his way, leaving “Hot Sauce” fuming in the face of … failure?
“What a dipshit. Biggest mistake of your life, kid …”
That was the cue for the show to go somewhere else.
You've Made a COLOSSAL Mistake
Backstage once more. In view: Adria Hoyt, everyone's favorite worker and interviewer. Quite evident with how often she's on the show. Can you blame management though? Careful with any ill-will towards her or you may piss off a certain former NBW superstar.
"This past week over thenbw.com and social media it was announced that tonight would feature a gargantuan six man tag match when the former Dynasty Tag Team Champions the Unstoppables team up with the Colossus Spike Saunders to take on the Tag Champions and Blitzkrieg Champions, the In Crowd." She paused for the jeering from the fans in the arena. "Joining me at this time is one of the men competing in that match-"
She smiled as the camera pulled back and finally got her guest in frame. It's never easy to get those guys in the same shot as her without just being a head, but the camera crew know what they are doing. And second later there stood the seven foot three giant himself.
"Evening Adria," Saunders greeted the interviewer with a smile while removing his trademark shades and set them atop his spiked hair. "caught me in a good mood tonight."
"So we can see," she responded in agreement as the jolly giant was smiling for once. It'd been awhile. "I can only assume that your excited for your match at 25 to Life."
"Well several weeks ago I did take the step forward and announce my participation in the 25 To Life match. The rest of the night was a bit of a blur, and the weeks after that as well. I can't say that I've had a great year, heh." He shrugged, "but Adria, rest assured my focus is on becoming the NBW World Heavyweight Champion again. Even if that means going on to face my former rival and man that got me fired, now turned around friend in Warren Spade, or my former friend turned all-out asshole to settle our rubber match."
"It's going to be a long night for you, and several others. You've also got the recenly announced Blitzkrieg championship match against Jake Tockwell!"
Talk about getting a heavy reaction from the NBW faithful in The Epic II.
"I do, don't I?" Saunders grinned and placed is palm on her shoulder. "Imagine this. You're ready to put an end to a certain brawler from the Adriatic only to have your eyes burn so badly you can barely make it to the ring, let alone see what is going on. You later learn that someone doused your shades in a bleach-substance, and later see others receive the same treatment." He looked over at the camera for a moment while the crowd booed heavily, "Don't worry Johannes, we'll get that match." He winked and turned back. "Then you see the same person go on to beat Warren Spade, after having won the Blitzkrieg championship from Brock Newbludd earlier, whom had one of hell of a match just recently with Ravage. He's so close to being the NBW Champion but a certain giant prevents the whole 'unfair advantage', even if it was against Derecho... Fast forward to 25 to Life, in a Blitzkrieg Rules match, where literally anything can go..."
"We've seen what Newbludd could do in that situation. We've also see the likes or Ravage and NBW Hall of Famer Judasbleek's own handling in those matches. Jake has yet to make his mark with the rules of the division."
"Exactly. But here's the deal Adria." Reaching forward he held his left arm out past her head. "See that?" She turned her head slightly to get a full vision block of flesh. "My forearm is as large as your head. And Jake's a pretty boy that gots a womanly head himself, so nearly the same." He pulled back and crossed his arms. "Picture two of these across the gullet and mouth of Big Talk. Then once he's shut up." He grinned. "BOOM!" Smacking his fist and startling Adria to jump back. "Headshot, and then SPIKED down to the ground."
"Sounds like you've got a plan and your focus in the right place then, Spike."
"I do. But, I'm forgetting something aren't I?" He grinned. "Blitzkrieg rules. So Raul, I'd consider pulling up the archived footage of my Iron Man matches with J. Leslie Voss from a few years back. So you can prep him for the punishment he's in for." With a grin he focused in on the camera. "Focusing in on a Giant and starving him of his dinner was a COLOSSAL mistake, Tockwell. Tonight THIS GIANT gets his appetizer and at 25 to Life, I'm getting an eight course meal."
In the arena the fans could be heard cheering for the Colossus.
"Well best of luck to you at 25 to Life and the three of you tonight!"
"Thanks Adria. Have a good evening."
With that the Colossus exited left as the footage cut to a break..
After an advert for some new Hulu show that you probably need to watch right now, like Shut Eye… the show cut to the ring where everybody’s favorite Chinese nationalist xenophobes were front and center in the ring with “Born In China (metal remix)” by The Immortals was just about to fade out.
“Qiēgē yīnyuè ba!” Xiang screamed in his native tongue. “In case you simpletons didn’t understand, cut the music!”
The crowd booed already because they didn’t want to hear anything that Xiang had to say. He and The Great Wall’s Give-A-Fuck-A-Meter was set precisely at zero. The music faded and Xiang continued.
“For weeks now, you have bore witness to The Great Wall DESTROYING the competition and at 25 to Life, you will witness one of us as your RIGHTFUL 25 to Life winner! We promised that 2017 would be the year of The Xiang Dynasty to finally rule nbW and tonight will finally be that day!”
Xiang pointed to The Great Wall.
“The Great Wall is taking a break tonight because none of you DESERVE to see him in action before 25 to Life… however, you have caught me in a generous mood. I’ll be hosting an open challenge right now to prove that 25 to Life is going to be my show. I am challenging ANYBODY on the nbW roster to a match! Not just any match… this will be an Over The Top Rope Challenge!”
The Artist of War clinched onto the ropes.
“I want tonight to be a sample of what you will witness at 25 to Life: The Xiang Dynasty taking its rightful place RULING this company and proving our country’s superiority.”
Xiang turned his attention to the back.
“Rúguǒ yǒurén gǎn tiǎozhàn wǒ, xiànzài jiù zǒu chūqù ba!” Xiang barked.
The Artist of War waited along with The Great Wall at their side.
And it didn’t take long at all.
“Hero” by Skillet!
The head trainer of the nbW wrestling school and former Keystone Champion Matt Haddon! It had been more than a minute since he was last seen in a loss some time ago to “The First” Freddie Rich, but Haddon was out here tonight and looked like he had something to prove. His music cut out and he had a microphone in hand.
“Yay,” Haddon said dryly, “I’ll let you all in on a secret. I just recently celebrated my 38th birthday. And you know what? I know EXACTLY what I asked for birthday… yet another anti-American, boring-ass, whiny Bond villain-like diatribe from Mr. China’s-So-Great! Just what I’ve always wanted! Thanks, Xiang!”
He spat on the ground.
Sure, Haddon laid it on thick, but people celebrated the nbW veteran as he approached the ring.
“Now, I’ve been spending most of my time running nbW’s wrestling school trying to focus on the future… but with 25 to Life coming up and the chance to REALLY change your career… I thought to myself… I’d like to do that. Then you come out here and start talking like you’ve already won the thing. Maybe Chinese Lurch back there has won some matches, but you haven’t won DICK until you stop hiding behind him and do your own dirty work.”
Xiang rolled his eyes.
“Oh… YOU’RE going to come out here and lecture me about wins and losses, Mr. Haddon? You reek of hypocrisy right now. But if you would like to take me up on my challenge right now, then by all means, Mr. Haddon.”
Xiang leaned over the ropes.
“Step into this ring and see exactly what you’re getting yourself into by challenging ME.”
Haddon unzipped his nbW hoodie and tossed it for a lucky fan to take home! A young kid that was probably three sizes too short for it, but he took it happily. The No Brand Dad walked into the ring with official Tal Nedrick running behind him! It was time for this Impromptu Over The Top Rope Challenge!
DING DING DING!
When Haddon jumped into the ring, the opportunistic Xiang attacked right at the onset and ambushed him with a series of hard knees to the chest.
“You don’t challenge me!” Xiang shouted into his face.
He bumped him around the corner and he whipped Haddon all the way across the ring while on the outside, The Great Wall towered over all and watched silently at his boss in action. Xiang ran over to where Haddon was still trying to recover from the attack and charged…
Haddon rushed out of the corner and he let Xiang have it with a big shot. On a scale to 1 to Tockwell’s Gift of Gab Lariat, it was probably a seven at least, but Haddon wasn’t taking Xiang lightly.
He picked him up and when Xiang tried to fight back, Haddon blocked a right hand and fired a few more blows of his own!
The alternating blows disoriented Matt Haddon and that gave The Founding Father enough time to cross both of his arms together…
Xiang’s talk about the open challenge may have just horrendously backfire because now The Founding Father was pointing to the ropes and the crowd was cheering.
Haddon grabbed Xiang and picked him up by the back of his neck and his trunks. He ran forward and CHUCKED him over the top rope…
Xiang landed on his feet and saved himself from what might have been a very humiliating defeat! The Artist of War waited for Haddon to turn and when he did, he greeted him from the ring apron with a disorienting Leaping Enzuigiri! The blow knocked Haddon down and Xiang then climbed back into the ring. To add some insult to injury, he grabbed The Founding Father by the back of his head and ran the heel of his boot across the side of his face.
“Wú lǐ de shǎguā!” Xiang screamed.
He shouted something to the effect of “Insolent fool” to Haddon and then picked up the former Keystone Champion. He didn’t bother playing to the crowd and threw Haddon and over…
Haddon hung on for dear life and the fact that he had slimmed down a good ten pounds or so may have helped for his newfound balance. The Founding Father blocked a punch from Xiang with one of his own! He ducked his head through the ropes and tried a Shoulder Thrust to catch Xiang, but The Artist of War saw it coming and caught him square with a knee to the jaw! Xiang then gritted his teeth.
He yelled “Watch the fall” in his dialect and then tried to grab Haddon.
Haddon doubled him over and caught him with a Haymaker. He then positioned Xiang…
BACK BODY DROP OVER THE TOP ROPE!
DING DING DING!
Haddon had just won!
The Founding Father climbed back into the ring and in what some might be willing to call an upset, The No Brand Dad had just won the match!
“HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THE OVER THE TOP ROPE CHALLENGE… MATT HADDON!”
Xiang was on the floor and was completely beside himself! He was an intelligent man by most accounts, but his own hubris got the better of him and now Haddon was the victor. Haddon had a smile on his face as he walked out of the ring and tried to celebrate…
Celebration was cut short!
The Great Wall gritted his teeth and when Haddon wasn’t looking, he was blindsided by the massive monster from China. The Chinese Colossus picked up Haddon, who tried to fight back with right hands to the gut, but the blows didn’t appear to do too much…
FIVE STARS VICE!
The Head and Arm Triangle Choke was a VERY deadly maneuver that The Great Wall had been racking up victories with. He shook the life out of Haddon and actually LIFTED him off the ground for the slam! Haddon then was RAMMED hard into the ring post!
Xiang climbed into the ring and ordered The Great Wall to bring Haddon back inside. He silently nodded and picked him up before throwing Haddon’s lifeless body at his feet. He picked up the former Keystone Champion.
“You. Won’t. Embarrass. Me.” Xiang said coldly in English so Haddon could understand before he picked him up and THREW him over the top rope and out to the floor!
The crowd booed The Xiang Dynasty. Sure, Haddon had the technical win in the record books, but with a dominant manhandling display like the one The Great Wall just had, surely, the monster from China may have been one of the dark horses of the match.
Both Xiang and The Great Wall left the ring and The Great Wall was sure to even STEP on Haddon on his way out of the ring! The crowd booed at the disrespect shown tonight by The Xiang Dynasty and if they had their way, nothing was going to stop them from marching into 25 To Life to attain the biggest opportunity of their careers.
It's Not Over so I AIM to Finish It
The scene opened up backstage. The boos inside the arena were strong when the three-time NBW World Heavyweight Champion, Derecho, was shown walking the halls with a purpose. As he turned a corner, he ran into Jack Harmen and those boos suddenly turned into massive cheers.
“Out of my way, Harmen. I have business I need to attend do.” said Derecho.
“If that business is causing another disturbance in my arena, I’m afraid I’m not going to allow that.”
Derecho took a step backward and got in close to Jack Harmen’s face in an attempt to intimidate him.
“Last time Warren Spade and I were in that arena, we failed to rip each other apart. I’m not waiting any longer. I’m going to finish what was started and there’s nothing anybody, including you, can do about it.”
Derecho went to walk away, but Harmen excessively cleared his throat to get Derecho’s attention. It worked because Derecho stopped in his tracks and looked over his shoulder.
“I wouldn’t say that. Afterall, I captain this ship and I CAN do something about it. In fact, I AM going to do something about it. Tonight… Warren Spade is off limits to you. I’m invoking a no contact rule between the two of you tonight.”
Derecho turned around and walked right up to Harmen’s face and then laughed.
“That’s cute, Harmen. You actually think a rule like that is going to stop me from driving Warren Spade’s skull right through the floor of this arena?”
Harmen smiled back at Derecho.
“Oh I know it will! You see, if you touch Warren Spade at all tonight, I will strip you of the NBW World Heavyweight Championship!”
The crowd erupted in cheers! Derecho, however, didn’t seem phased by it one bit. He pulled the title off of his shoulder and held it up to Harmen’s face.
“You see this title? THIS is the main event of 25 to Life… that means I am the main event of 25 to Life. If you strip me of this, that means you lose your main event… you lose the one match people are paying to see… you lose all of the money you invested into 25 to Life. People will walk out, they’ll demand refunds, and you will disappoint all of those who already paid their hard-earned money for that. Are you sure that’s the path you want to walk?”
Harmen stood there for a moment and then grabbed the NBW World Heavyweight Championship right out of Derecho’s hands!!
“Yes… I am sure… and to prove it… I’m holding this title until 25 to Life. If you touch Warren Spade tonight, this belt stays with me. If you play nice and avoid physicality with him, I’ll be gracious enough to allow you to wear this to the ring for your match at the pay-per-view. Keep this in mind while you ponder your decision for tonight.”
With that Harmen walked away as Derecho gritted his teeth. He slammed his fist into a nearby equipment crate before storming away in anger! Derecho now had a choice to make tonight. Destroy Warren Spade or remain champion!
I Want To BELIEVE!
One by one, each section of the arena went dark. It was almost as if someone, or something, had tampered with the lights. The Epic II Arena was transformed into an eerie green. A thick cloud of fog rolled in. It was almost… alien.
Brent Williams apologized to the nbW faithful. “Ladies and gentleman, please excuse the interruption. We seem to be having problems with the - “ His feed cut out and was replaced by a screeching noise. Then, as if someone were switching dials on a radio, voices came through the speakers.
“I… Want… To… Believe!” the radio voices announced. Then the sound system roared to life with the geek punk classic “U.F.O.” by Boris the Sprinkler.
Amidst all the green, the Epicenter came to life, with a silvery object zooming to and fro in the distance. It grew closer, and closer, until finally it was quite clear and almost close enough to touch.
It was a flying saucer! A hatch door opened, lowering a stairway, and a bright, white light emanated from within the strange craft. A shadowy figure slowly took one step after another until it reached the ground. Finally, the mysterious being stood in the entryway, surrounded by the same bright, white light.
The hatch door closed, and the U.F.O. sped off. When it vanished from the Epicenter, the same silvery object appeared above the crowd in the form of a large, silvery, saucer-shaped balloon!
As Jesse Ventura once said in an episode of The X-Files, “No other object has been misidentified as a flying saucer more often than the planet Venus.” However, this was not the planet Venus. This was the “Space Pimp” Max Hopper! He stepped into the aisle, flinging his arms out wide. The nbW crowd ate up every minute of it, especially when he strolled up to a young fan who squealed with glee. He put his hand on the child’s shoulder and pointed up to the U.F.O. floating overhead. Frightened, the little one clung to his dad’s leg.
“It’s okay,” Max assured him, ruffling his hair. “That’s my ride!” With that, he danced his way to the ring.
“Well, this is the last slam before 25 to Life,” Melissa van der Aart announced, “and Max Hopper, one of the more unique members of the nbW roster, has a chance to win some gold BEFORE the big 25 to Life match! He’ll be facing the Keystone Champion himself, Ali Amore!”
C.G. Gains offered his own two cents. “You know, every time this guy comes out here, I get the creeps. I mean, does he have to make the turn green every single time?”
“Well that’s part of his appeal,” Melissa explained, “and part of why the fans love him, C.G.! But it looks like he’s got something to say right now. Let’s find out what’s on his mind.”
Max Hopper obtained a microphone from Brent Williams, who was at ringside. Then, beaming his smile as bright as a close encounter, he snapped his fingers and the arena’s lights were restored to normal!
Max’s disposition became more earnest as he greeted the crowd. “Hey guys. You all know that in just a short time, I’ll be facing Ali Amore at 25 to Life for the Keystone, but before that happens, I thought you should all know why I’m doing this. I thought you should all know just how important this match is.”
Max began pacing around the inside of the ring. It was clear that the normally happy-go-lucky paranormal investigator was very serious and believed wholeheartedly in everything he was about to say.
“I had given my word, years ago, that if Judasbleek beat me in a rematch for his Blitzkrieg Championship, I would leave nbW and never come back. And that’s exactly what happened. He beat me.”
Max Hopper paused briefly to collect his thoughts. Imagine that, Max Hopper having thoughts!
“However,” he continued, “events are in motion. The timelines, they are a changin’, and one night when I was at Stonehenge, studying the timelines, I saw that I had to make my return. So, I came back last year at Legacy, after being inducted into the nbW Hall of Fame, and I had one last match with Travis Martinez, the same man who was at one time my nemesis, Judasbleek. We went to war that night, I came out victorious for the first time ever against him, and best of all, we were finally able to put the chronological past behind us.
“I chose that time to make my return, because I knew that I would need time to prepare for the events that were to come. And I challenged Travis Martinez, because I knew that he would be the ultimate test for my abilities. Before our General Manager, High Flyer, even knew that he was going to make a tournament to crown a number one contender for the Keystone, I paid him a visit and signed up for the tournament before anyone else. Nobody signed up before me, not Erick Davies, not Little Ricky, not the Great Wall, not Matt Meyhu, nobody. I made sure that I was the first to enter the tournament because I knew I had to secure a spot. There was just too much at stake.
“You see, the Keystone holds great power, and it has passed through many hands over time. As we all know, great power can either be used for good or for evil. I mean, I guess you could use it for something which doesn’t really register very greatly either way, like making a glass of orange juice materialize for yourself when you’re thirsty, but that’s not the point. Most people never realized the powers of the Keystone, but there were some, like SVJ, who tried to wield those powers for his own selfish gain. Judasbleek was seduced by them.”
Max stopped in his tracks and pointed up the aisle, toward the locker room.
“Ali Amore, on the other hand, has been a terrific guardian for the Keystone. He has kept it safe and not used it for evil. I have all of the respect in the multiverse for him, because of that. If the Keystone were to fall into the wrong hands, the results could be disastrous. We’re talking a world where sea anemones are the dominant species, fire and brimstone coming up from every bidet, toilets flushing the wrong way, total anarchy! Imagine the whole world being turned into Australia, and that’s pretty much what I’m talking about.
“Now, like I said, I have a lot of respect for Ali Amore, and he’s done a great job protecting the Keystone so far… But those wrong hands are lurking right around the corner, and it might be too much to expect him to prevail even at full health, much less with his injuries. That’s why I’ve come back, to take over as the guardian of the mystical Keystone, to keep it out of the wrong hands and protect its power.
“Ever since I won that tournament to crown the new number one contender to the Keystone Title, people have been asking me why I believe that I can beat Ali Amore at 25 to Life. They’ve been asking me why I think I could be a good Keystone Champion. Well, my answer is the same as it was when I first entered the tournament and people were asking why I thought I could survive that, the same thing that got me through ‘Deadly’ Erick Davies, the Great Wall, and Matt Meyhu. I believe that there are more sides to this world than the ordinary, that the unthinkable can happen and often does, that ANYBODY can rise to glory or fall from grace simply because…
“I WANT to believe! So I’m inviting all of you to believe in a world where the spectacular, the unordinary can happen. I want to believe in a world where the sky isn’t the limit, but a world where we can all go BEYOND the sky. I want to believe! Do you?”
With that, Max Hopper dropped the mic and left the crowd to chant, “I want to believe!”
“Well, inspired words from Max Hopper as he heads to his Keystone match at 25 to Life against Ali Amore,” Melissa van der Aart observed. “He seems pumped up for this opportunity!”
You Don't Go Against The Family
To backstage with the quickness!
Adria Hoyt wearing a very stunning blue dress with a fairly low neckline? Check.
Pretty smile? Check.
To the interview we go!
“Hi, nbW fans,” Adria started, "Welcome back! Joining me at this time are three men who are here to declare entry into the 25 to Life match! Please welcome at this time, Jules and Rafi Ke’ala along with the former nbW Blitzkrieg Champion Ohiyama… they are Ke’ala Ohana!”
The crowd gave a great round of applause for the friendly Hawaiian family. Jules and Rafi looked to be in only fairly good spirits after the way Slam 89 went down, but they weren’t letting it get to them. Ohiyama appeared behind them and greeted Adria with a nod.
“Ms. Hoyt, thank you for your time,” Ohiyama said politely.
“No, thank you guys,” she replied. “I understand that you are here to talk about 25 to Life, is that correct?”
“That’s right,” Ohiyama said. “This is a career-changing match that can do wonders for the person that wins it, but I don’t need to tell you that. The winner main events Legacy later this year and that is where I need to be. You all know my story. I’ve tested myself against the very best and the most hard-hitting, unstoppable wrestlers I’ve ever fought in Japan. I came back here to pick up where I left off three years ago during my last time in nbW. I’m shooting right for the moon, Adria, and Legacy… that’s where I need to be.”
“We’re ALL going to be in the match!” Rafi said.
“Dude!” Jules whined with a slap to the back of his brother’s head. “I was gonna say that! Big Oh promised me the announcement.”
“You’d just say it all boring,” Rafi quipped. “You’d be all…” He then put on a robot-like voice. “I am Jules. Here me roar. I am going to be in the 25 to Life match and stuff.”
“Brah, you’re an asshole, you know that, right?”
“I do.” Rafi said with a mischievous smile.
“Enough, children,” Ohiyama said in a low, but stern voice that meant the two better shut the fuck up. “Anyway, Adria… that’s just one of things we’re here to talk about. The other one is about that little lolo, Big Rick Strongbern and his thugs.”
“They did steal a victory from Jules and Rafi last week,” Adria said. “And tonight you take on Little Ricky Strongbern. Care to comment on your match?”
“Yes…” Ohiyama said. “Clan Strongbern is domineered by a hyped-up and possibly roided-out midget that thinks he can boss his way to the top. I thought he was kind of funny until he laid his hands on me and my family. That’s when things gets real.”
He gritted his teeth.
“For the last two shows, they’ve jumped us from behind and taken advantage in unsportsman-like ways If they’re REAL tough like they think they are, they’ll accept our challenge.”
“And what is that?” Adria asked.
Jules took the microphone.
“Clan Strongbern, you think that you know what Ke’ala Ohana is all about, but you wouldn’t know all about that if Wikipedia bit you on the ass. When somebody wrongs family, that shit is serious. So if you want a fight, the three of us are challenging the three of you to a six-man tag match at 25 to Life!”
Rafi piled on.
“Okay, there was feeling there, I like it,” Rafi smirked before he, too, got serious. “Big Oh’s going to rearrange Little Ricky’s face tonight, then if the three of you can muster up one set between you, you’ll accept our challenge. Then you’ll find out why you don’t go against OUR family.”
Ohiyama, Jules and Rafi all dapped fists and nodded before heading out to the ring for Ohiyama’s match with Little Ricky Strongbern.
“We heard Ke’ala Ohana tell people that they’re going to not only be in the 25 To Life match, but they’re ALSO challenging Clan Strongbern to a six-man tag team match! Think they’ll accept the challenge, C.G.?”
“Yeah!” Gains said to his broadcast colleague. “They aren’t going to stand for Ke’ala Ohana. They beat them last week and Ohiyama’s now getting into the ring with a near seven-footer! He’s going down faster than the fan appreciation for Iron Fist on Rotten Tomatoes.”
“You’re just bitter that show sucked, aren’t you?”
“Well… let’s go to ringside! Ohiyama takes on his largest opponent since his return to nbW when he takes on Little Ricky Strongbern right now!”
And to the ring we go.
“The following contest is a singles match set for one fall!” Brent Williams shouted.
“Let’s Kill These Motherfuckers” by Lair of the Minotaur.
The new theme came with a new thundering boom as the lights in the arena went pitch-black. Suddenly, a HUGE spotlight shone on the stage and one by one, the monsters came out.
“Little” Ricky Strongbern, the near-seven footer.
“Big” Rick Strongbern who stood 5’8”, 228, but was twelve feet tall in his own mind.
And of course, their newest pet…
“Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Little Ricky Strongbern… at an allegedly combined weight of well over eight-hundred pounds and a combined height of…” Brent stopped to read his card. “…Tall enough to mess up everybody in this arena tonight…”
“Big Rick Strongbern and Rik Bonebreaker-Strongbern!”
The muscular monster and the muscular ringleader of Clan Strongbern dapped fists before they entered the ring. Big Rick marched up to Brent Williams.
“Let’s Kill These Motherfuckers” by Lair of the Minotaur.
The theme came with a thundering boom as the lights in the arena went pitch-black. Suddenly, a HUGE spotlight shone on the stage and one by one, the monsters came out.
“Little” Ricky Strongbern, the near-seven footer.
“Big” Rick Strongbern who stood 5’8”, 228, but was twelve feet tall in his own mind.
And of course, the monstrous Rik Bonebreaker-Strongbern.
“Introducing first, being accompanied to the ring by Big Rick Strongbern and Rik Bonebreaker-Strongbern… weighing in at 299 pounds… LITTLE RICKY STRONGBERN!”
Little Ricky hated to be there, but he was tired of Ke’ala Ohana as well so he was still willing to put up with Big Rick and his hated rival Rik. He entered the ring by stepping over the ropes and looked out to the disdainful crowd that hated Clan Strongbern. Ricky waited for his opponent of the evening to arrive.
The crowd now watched with anticipation at what was happening at ringside. The lights faded to black until a series of yellow and green spotlights shined at the entrance. The crowd continued to buzz for what was happening next until a series of men in yellow dress robes made their way out, pounding on tribal drums. The crowd was excited for the entrance and a silhouette appeared on the top of the ramp.
A BIG silhouette to be precise. Two smaller men on either side of him continued to dance in tune with a tribal beat. The lights then returned after a scream.
“EO NA TOA! EO NA TOA E!”
A HUGE explosion of red pyro went off behind him and the opening 15-second mark of “King Kong” by Gorilla Zoe played.
“And his opponent… from Hilo, Hawaii, being accompanied to the ring by Jules and Rafi Ke’ala… weighing in at 278 pounds… OHIYAMA!”
The 6’6” 278-pound Hawaiian garnered a GREAT reaction from the crowd! Jules and Rafi followed right behind their larger cousin. Though Ohiyama was the biggest member of Ke’ala Ohana, he still gave up almost half a foot in height to Little Ricky. That being said, the Hawaiian Gojira showed no fear as he stopped and shot Big Rick a dirty look. Ohiyama entered the ring and stared down Little Ricky.
DING DING DING!
“Why do you follow this troll?” Ohiyama asked.
“Because I HAVE to,” Little Ricky snarled.
It was true that Big Rick owned his contract and thus was forced into being his servant some time ago. But that wasn’t important right now; what WAS important was the fact that Ohiyam and Little Ricky locked up! The two monsters went right at it and Little Ricky used his height advantage so he drove a pair of knees right into the chest!
The Artist Formerly Known as Tremoid continued to bat Ohiyama across the back with a series of powerful Clubbing Forearms…
“Come on!” Ohiyama shouted.
But he was shaking them off!
Little Ricky looked perplexed, but Ohiyama and his cousins spent the last three years fighting in Japan where proving your toughness was paramount. Strongbern buried another right hand to the side of Ohiyama’s face, but he grunted and pointed at his cheek.
“Come on!” he screamed again.
Big Rick and Rik both thought Ohiyama was nuts, but Jules and Rafi cheered their cousin on. Little Ricky tried to club him, but the quicker Ohiyama moved.
The crowd CRINGED from the incredibly powerful Open-Handed Chops from Ohiyama! Six stiff shots caught him on the chest and now Little Ricky was doubled over. Ohiyama tried to whip him across the ring, but he shot Strongbern right back into the corner and caught him with a Corner Clothesline! Strongbern convulsed form the impact as Ohiyama ran off the ropes on the other side of the ring and LEVELED him with a second Corner Clothesline!
“DON’T FUCKING EMBARRASS ME!” Big Rick screamed from ringside.
Angrily, Big Rick and Rik watched Little Ricky take another beatdown from Ohiyama as he blasted him with two Mongolian Chops to either side of his neck. Ohiyama launched a stiff Headbutt and caught him in the chest before he was knocked over the ropes!
“GODDAMN IT!” Big Rick yelled. “GET BACK IN THERE AND FUCK HIM UP!”
Big Oh grabbed Little Ricky by his neck and tried to pull the seven-footer right back into the ring. Big Rick jumped on the apron and started yelling at him.
“HEY! ASSHOLE! I HEARD YOUR LITTLE CHALLENGE EARLIER!”
Ohiyama swatted Big Rick off the apron and got rid of him, but the opening shot was all Rik Bonebreaker-Strongbern needed to climb on the apron and DROP Ohiyama with a big meathook of a Clothesline!
Jules and Rafi tried to point it out to referee Slim J, but he didn’t see anything. The shot blindsided Ohiyama and now he was trying to get back on his feet, but Little Ricky finally had a chance to turn things around for himself. He did just that with a Running Big Boot right to the face! Finally, he had Ohiyama down and he had the chance to do what nobody had done since he returned to nbW.
Ohiyama got his shoulder off the mat right after the two-count, but Little Ricky wasn’t going to waste this opportunity even when Rik was smug about it on the outside.
“You’re welcome, asshole,” Rik muttered.
Little Ricky continued to pummel Ohiyama with right hands while he was down and when Slim J told him to back off or risk a disqualification, Little Ricky ignored him.
“Stop! One! Two! Three! Four!”
Little Ricky finally relented, but those four extra seconds of trying to punch Ohiyama’s lights out might have been enough to do him in. Little Ricky grabbed Ohiyama by the side and then slightly lifted him up before he DROPPED him hard across his knee with a Gutbuster! With Ohiyama down again, Little Ricky tried to pull off what might have been at least a minor upset over a former Blitzkrieg Champion.
Ohiyama kicked out again! The Active Volcano was looking a bit worse for wear after a couple of nearfalls from Little Ricky. When Ohiyama tried to crawl back to his feet…
Another big kick from Little Ricky had him stumbling. The blow hurt Ohiyama, but he tried to shrug it off. He was BEGGING for another kick!
Little Ricky obliged.
Little Ricky kicked him a second time, even harder than the first, but Little Ricky continued to shrug off the blow. He growled when Little Ricky tried to kick him a third time.
No such luck.
Ohiyama CAUGHT his foot and started to stand up to his full height again. He threw Little Ricky’s leg down and shoved him back into the corner. The Active Volcano knelt down and charged before he ran forward and landed a hard High Knee in the corner and then dragged him out and SNAPPED him down with a Swinging Neckbreaker!
That was Ohiyama’s chance for a comeback now and Big and Rik were both angry at this turn of events!
“GET UP, YOU ASSHOLE!” Big Rick shouted.
Jules and Rafi continued to cheer for their cousin as Little Ricky tried to get his bearings back. Ohiyama was up against the ropes and held his jaw in pain. Just because he was putting up his defiant attitude didn’t mean kicks from a near seven-footer don’t hurt. Little Ricky was angry with his comeback and tried to charge at Ohiyama, but he was caught…
The Spinning Belly To Back Facebuster PLANTED him down to the canvas!
Ohiyama then climbed on the second rope and got the crowd going…
DOUBLE FOOT STOMP OFF THE SECOND ROPE!
The crowd groaned from the brutal move! 278 pounds didn’t feel good on your chest and now Ohiyama tried to go for the win.
Rik pulled Slim J away from making his three-count. The crowd booed as Rik tried to sneak away which was very hard for him to do when he was 6’8” and 323 pounds. Jules and Rafi had seen enough…
FLYING KNEE OFF THE APRON FROM JULES!
Jules struck him down with a shot! Big Rick tried to swing at Rafi Ke’ala, but he moved…
Big Rick got FLOORED by Rafi’s Lariat and he let out a roar and the crowd cheered on the Ke’alas!
Back inside the ring, Ohiyama pulled Little Ricky up by the neck, but an Uppercut caught him in the throat! Ohiyama was stunned when Little Ricky tried to grab his arm. He was setting him up for his finisher, the Cobra Clutch Slam he called the Littlest Giant Slam…
Ohiyama elbowed his way free! He moved the arm away from Little Ricky and then spun him around…
KING KONG SMASH!
The crowd groaned from the impact of the Rainmaker set up into the nasty Headbutt to the chest! Little Ricky looked out on his feet when Ohiyama threw him down to a knee…
The NASTY Running Knee Smash right to the chest put Little Ricky out on his back! Ohiyama knelt over and stared down Big Rick as he was slowly coming around.
That was it! After two shows worth of beatdowns and attacks suffered at the hands of Clan Strongbern, Ohiyama put Ke’ala Ohana back on the board with a big win tonight!
“HERE IS YOUR WINNER OF THE MATCH… OHIYAMA!”
The Active Volcano evened the score between the two stables in terms of matches against one another! Jules and Rafi joined their cousin in the ring and raised one another’s arms in celebration of this huge win tonight, but Big Rick irate.
“YOU FUCK-UP!” Big Rick yelled at Little Ricky. “THIS SHIT AIN’T GOING TO HAPPEN AGAIN!”
Big Rick stole a microphone from ringside and heaved and huffed into it while Rik was nursing a sore jaw from the knee by Jules.
“YOU LITTLE CANDY-ASSES WANT TO RUN AT THE BIG BOYS? WE ACCEPT YOUR CHALLENGE FOR 25 TO LIFE! THE THREE OF US ARE GOING TO MAKE DAMN SURE THE THREE OF YOU ARE HOOKED UP TO COLOSTOMY BAGS AFTER WHAT WE DO TO YOU! RIK, GET HIM UP, NOW!”
And so the match was officially set! At 25 To Life, it would be Ke’ala Ohana taking on Clan Strongbern! After weeks of the two feuding… uh… families, I guess, going at it, only one family was going to come out on top!
You need to order 25 to Life and find that out, though. Don’t pirate that shit. We need money.
Walking into the Lioness Den
"What were YOU thinking out there?" Zed was irate as he berated his girl in front of the equally clad in red Rune, seated on a bench with either Hellion Sister on a thigh. "YOU cost me the match!"
"I had a plan-" Couli got out, barely.
"You had a plan?" Zed snarled and grabbed her by the shoulders, "What about MY plan? You just gave that dipshit Quinlan MY opportunity."
"Oh please, you would have done the same thing Z-baby. I know it." She stepped in so his grip loosened and she was up against his chest, craning her neck back to look up into his eyes.
Somebody had decided to make their presence known with a fake cough.
"What do YOU want?" Couli half-yelled as they were approached.
"To say good job out there." The unmistakable Zhalia Fears appeared on screen. "Was a fun match." She looked over at Rune: "Almost had you, you sly dog." She grinned and returned her focus on Couli as Zed cuffed her around the stomach with his forearm. "You survived until the last, Michelle. That was quite impressive."
Couli smirked and tossed her hair back, hitting Zed with it. "As if there were any doubt. I'm the most quintessential woman. Be it here in NBW, this country or the entire world. So of course I stood atop you all."
"Right," Fears looked past her at Zed, "she sure got you too didn't she?" She laughed as Zed was clearly still irate. "Anyhow Michelle... this is hard for me. " She took a deep breath, "every ounce of my being is wanting to charge over there and fling you by your hair into those lockers."
"Just try you little bitch." She turned back towards Rune and her Hellion's. "Circe, Melantha." They stood from the lap of Rune-
"Really now?" Zhalia shook her head and stepped up close to Michelle, the distance being a mere few inches. Talk about encroaching on one's personal space. "You want to do throw down here? I'm game if you are, however..."
She looked past Couli and up at Zed. He took a step back and with him pulled Michelle back as well.
"I told you before. Absolutely NOTHING is going to cost me my shot."
Fears looked at Zed before her, Rune now standing to her left, the two Hellion Sisters in front of him, and Couli showing her fangs. What a situation to get herself into. Best move would be to turn on the heel and walk, sprint, and run away.
She strode forward to recover that distance.
"Michelle, I could have done this out in the ring in front of the fans. Leaving you open to sneak attack or send your demons to do the dirty work. I could have. But instead I'm here in person, to speak face to face alone-" Again she glanced around her, "well, at least part of my plan worked out." She laughed. "Mister Harmen mentioned it earlier tonight. Taking part in the Battle Royal could very well lose us our spot at 25 to Life. Now I don't know about you but I'm not looking to spend another pay per view on the sidelines. So I got a challenge for you."
Couli shrugged free of Zed's grip on her shoulders, but still blocked by his arm.
"And what would be?"
"You and me, one on one, plus many so you can feel like a real woman, in Singapore in the first ever-" Zhalia paused as she could hear the crowd cheering in the arena. "a Singapore Death Match!"
Couli, confused, looked at her girls then back over her shoulder at Zed: "The ditz meant Singapore Cane Match." She turned back, "Still reeling over those cane shots, hm?" Smiling, "Fine. I accept."
It was Fears turn to smile. She nodded her head and turned her back on the group. "See you at the Marina Bay then." Zhalia headed off as Zed had to wrap a second arm around Couli to keep her from attacking her.
She'd have her chance in a few weeks in Singapore.
Bad News and Bold Words
Coming back from break, the camera faded in to reveal the familiar NBW interview backdrop and standing in front of it with her trusty microphone at the ready was lead interviewer, Adria Hoyt.
Flashing her trademark beaming smile, Hoyt raised the microphone up to her lips.
“With 25 to Life only weeks away speculation has already begun on who exactly the twenty five men participating are going to be. While a few names have already been announced, like Zed…”
Adria stopped herself for a brief moment to let the crowd get their customary booing in at mention of the Paragon before continuing on.
“...and Mitchell Quinlan…”
For the sake of fairness, Hoyt let the crowd get in their cheers as well for the up and coming Quinlan.
“...the rest of the field is a mystery. Though, if this year’s 25 to Life match is anything like the last one, then the fans are certainly going to be treated to a match full of drama, excitement and plenty of surprise entrants that will keep them on the edge of their seats until their is only one man left standing!”
Another wave of cheers passed through the crowd, and Adria joined in on the excitement by doing something resembling a golf clap as she still hung on to the mic.
“And with the rumor mill churning faster than ever as we get closer and closer, one man that is being predicted, or should I say hoped, to be apart of the big match is the 2016 NBW Rookie of the Year and former Blitzkrieg Champion, ’The Innovator’ Brock Newbludd.
To describe the sound that the crowd made at Newbludd’s name as a roar would be incorrect, it was more akin to the deafening crack of a bolt of lightning hitting the earth. This was reinforced by the startled expression on Adria’s face from the sudden reaction of the NBW faithful.
New-Bludd! New-Bludd! New-Bludd!
Regaining her composure, Adria put a hand up to quiet down the masses.
“But, the last time we saw Brock was when he lost his Blitzkrieg title to the man who still holds the belt, ‘Big Talk’ Jake Tockwell…”
If the reaction Newbludd elicited was like lightning, the boos that now shook the arena at the mention of ‘Big Talk’ was the roaring thunder that always came after it.
“...but not only did Jake take Newbludd’s belt, he also put Brock on the proverbial shelf by injuring him as well. Injuries that were so severe that no real timeline was given by the NBW medical team for his return to the ring.”
Hoyt then looked off to her side and smiled before focusing back to the camera.
“And with that, please welcome NBW’s senior medical team member, and the man personally overseeing Brock Newbludd’s recovery and rehab…Randall Quest!”
With that, the camera zoomed out slightly as Randall joined Adria’s side. Professional to a fault, the stone faced Quest gave her with a quick nod of his head and kept his eyes on her, not bothering to acknowledge the camera.
“Adria.” Quest said in a flat, no nonsense, tone.
“Thanks for joining me Randall, I know you’re a busy trying to keep all the wrestlers in one piece, literally.” Hoyt joked, but the veteran EMT didn’t catch it and nodded his head in genuine agreement.
“Yes, I am. So, how may I help you and all the people watching at home?” Randall replied, finally looking to the camera.
“I’ll get right to the point Randall. Brock Newbludd. How is his rehab going and will he be cleared in time for 25 to Life?” Adria attempted in a uber serious tone that made her sound slightly awkward.
“His rehab is progressing faster than I could have ever expected. But, as far as wrestling in the rumble match goes, I’d say his chances improve every day.” Quest was then cutoff by cheers, and the look of annoyance that he shot to the camera instantly quieted the crowd, who were hanging on his next words.
“If I had to guess, by the time the Pay Per View rolls around, there will be a ten percent chance Brock could wrestle.”
“Ten percent!?” Adria exclaimed as the crowd moaned in the background.
“That’s better than what it would be today, which is ZERO!” Quest shot back,
The camera panned and coming into full view was the Blitzkrieg champion “Big Talk” Jake Tockwell along with his manager, “Hot Sauce” Raul Ramirez.
“Hey, Big Talk, what do you know?” said Hot Sauce. “The words ‘zero’ and ‘Brock Newbludd’ being mentioned in the same breath. Fitting, right? Ha!”
“Zero is a correct number, Mister Doctor,” said Big Talk. “See, Big Talk’ll tell you right now you don’t need a degree to know that Brock suffers from a case of the yellow spine after I kicked his ass up and down this arena and took the beautiful BK title that’s now seen on these sexy, broad shoulders! There is zero chance that zero is ever coming back after how bad he got beat by yours truly!”
Adria Hoyt looked a little annoyed with the circumstances of Big Talk and Hot Sauce being there but as usual, she did her best to remain impartial.
“I’ll say it like this, Adria,” said Tockwell. “I’m Jake Tockwell and what I say GOES! What I’m saying is this: Big Talk right now is announcing his entry into the 25 To Life match just in case you didn’t already figure that! Before this moment, there were more zeroes in this match than Warren Buffett’s bank account, but you can all rest easy now! Among all these zeroes, you’ve now got the one man that’s going to win it all, baby!”
Tockwell raised one finger in case his message wasn’t very clear ...
“You heard the man,” said Raul Ramirez. “We’re gonna take out Spike Saunders, keep the Blitzkrieg title, the In Crowd are keeping their Dynasty tag titles from the Unstoppables, and then Big Talk is winning and going on to take the NBW World title!”
“Enough talk about that Brock-sucker,” said Big Talk. “Let’s get the In Crowd together and discuss how we’re gonna put a hurt on Spike Saunders and the Completely Stoppables tonight!”
Big Talk and Hot Sauce waved at Adria and they both left.
“Bold words from the man they call ‘Big Talk’ regarding his entry into the 25 to Life match, while Randall Quest’s words about the status of Brock Newbludd were not promising to say the least. All I know for sure is that this year’s 25 to Life is shaping up to be a classic!”
Finished, Adria lowered her microphone and produced that same beaming smile as the camera faded to black.
It was now time for the next match!
25 To Life was almost here, but before that, the Number One Contender Warren Spade was set to face off with the Rich Family’s youngest member, Declan Rich. Warren Spade was on a path of destruction in the lead-up to the show, but he couldn’t afford to underestimate any member of the Rich Family after all of the havoc they had wrought since coming to No Brand Wrestling. Was Warren Spade looking at an easy win or was Declan primed and ready to pull off the upset?
"Introducing first...weighing two hundred and twenty pounds and being accompanied to the ring by Donny Rich...Declan Rich!!!"
The only music the Rich Family ever had was the sound of the crowd jeering them to high heaven and back. That’s all the motivation Declan and Donny needed as the two headed to the ring with this task at hand. Declan and Donny exchanged a few words on the way toward the ring with Declan putting his game face on. While he was not the expert in wrestling that either Todd or even the eldest leader of the Rich Family, Freddie, was he was a talented high flyer in his own right with a lot of promise. If he could use his speed to keep Warren off his game he could have a chance.
Declan jumped over the ropes in one leap and took to a knee and a cocky smile for the crowd. Declan waited for his opponent.
The arena went dark and a lone spotlight was now on the entryway. Whoever this person was had their back turned to the camera so as to hide his face, but he was a man in jeans, a black coat and a red and white carnival barker hat. He was very short and couldn’t have been any more than five-foot four, but he certainly had a gift of gab. This was Warren Spade’s manager, Fenton Woods!
“Declan and Donny! Or as you’ll be known soon enough, the lambs to the slaughter!”
The crowd popped at that announcement!
“First things first, let me welcome a special guest at ringside! Please welcome the father of your next NBW World champion, please welcome the man that brought the One-Man Stampede into this world! The man responsible for the man that will give Derecho the worst night of his life at 25 To Life … The Golden Lion Leon Spade!!!”
The camera caught a glimpse of the man from earlier in the front row. The crowd gave the wrestling legend a pop as he stood up from his seat and waved to the crowd. Though the man was sixty years old, he was still a very imposing man. Now back to Fenton!
“Declan, if you think you have any chance of defeating my giant tonight? Let me tell you something kiddo … THAT is rich! My name is Fenton Woods and I would like to welcome all of you – the fans of No Brand Wrestling – to the greatest show on Earth! The show where my giant comes out here and leaves a path of destruction for your amusement …”
He tapped his cane on the ground and his spotlight disappeared. The crowd was baited with anticipation and when words appeared on the EpiCenter they went crazy.
Warren Spade was here!
“Into The Arena” by Michael Schenker Group played and The Monster of the Mid-South basked in the reception from the crowd. After enjoying the response, he hunched over to let Fenton Woods ride on his shoulders. The monster who once boasted a two-year undefeated streak in No Brand Wrestling was approaching the ring fast. The large giant from the Mid-South stomped his way toward the ring and then put Fenton down before he entered the ring himself.
Declan looked like he might have been having second thoughts about taking this match, but he did so anyway. He had Donny in his corner, but the runt of the Rich Family looked afraid even being in the same vicinity as Warren.
”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap ”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap”STAMPEDE!” Clap clap
Declan Rich jumped right at Warren while Spade was basking in the chants and tried to catch the Monster of the Mid-South off-guard using a little bit of his speed. Warren tried to take two swings, but Declan was too fast and used his speed to dodge both shots.
“Can’t catch me!” yelled Rich.
Declan laughed and when Warren tried to grab him a third time, he slid behind him. The leg was the obvious target to try and chop down the monster, but that turned out to be a huge tactical mistake. Warren brought his knee up and right back down, smashing it upward into Declan’s face. The coconut crush from another French giant led to Warren simply chucking Declan across the ring with an enormous biel throw!
The sequence of quick moves by the seven-foot Monster of the Mid-South was enough to pop the crowd.
“Get ‘em, son!” yelled Leon from ringside.
The One-Man Stampede stood back up and before he could go for a cover, Declan rolled out of the ring to avoid any more punishment and to give himself some breathing room.
“Break him in two!” yelled Fenton.
Warren nodded at his manager and he reached over to pick up Declan. Declan was in a panic and even worse when Warren picked him up over his shoulder. Declan tried to fight Warren off but he was just too strong and carried him into the ring like a small child. He stepped up the steel steps, walked onto the apron and threw Declan back inside like he was taking out trash!
The crowd was entertained by the goings on of the dominant Spade as he worked to re-enter the ring. Spade stepped over the ropes and was about to try and finish off Declan quickly.
Donny grabbed his leg!
Warren looked down at Donny trying to pull his leg. Instead, Warren stepped forward and he dragged Donny in the ring with him!
And then stomped on his right hand for good measure! Warren pressed the heel of his wrestling boot down on his hand and continued to pull, but the fun and games stopped when Declan came out of nowhere by way of a drop kick!
The blow staggered the One-Man Stampede and that was enough for Declan to go for broke. He picked on the leg again and tried to use his quickness to go for a big move, but Spade quickly landed a quick forehand chop to the chest!
Declan was doubled over in pain now and a big red welt was left on his chest while cowering in the corner. He waited for the chance to finish and the One-Man Stampede came running at him with a full head of steam.
That speed of Declan came in handy because Warren and his barrel chest crashed hard into the corner. He bounced out and that’s when Declan got to strike by using a quick double knee facebreaker!
The blow didn’t drop Spade down to his feet, but it was more than enough to stagger him some. Declan had his chance to go for the attack again and Donny (sore hand and all) cheered on his brother. The quick-footed Declan then jumped to the middle rope and then came right back with a triangle drop kick out from the corner! The blow was more than enough to continue to stagger Warren.
For once, Fenton was looking a little worried that he had Spade on the ropes. That’s when Declan once again came off the middle rope and this time he finally brought Spade onto his back courtesy of a springboard roundhouse kick to the jaw! After those powerful quick moves on his part, Declan Rich finally jumped off the ropes and he waited for Warren to get back up only to be taken down again with a springboard missile drop kick!
No way jose!!!
Not the NXT wrestler, but the fact that Warren not only kicked out but kicked out with massive authority!
Declan deserved some kudos for being able to throw the One-Man Stampede off of his game thus far, but he needed to do something else if he was going to have any chance of winning. The Monster of the Mid-South was already starting to climb back to his feet when Declan hit the ropes again. He was slowly rising to the top rope and dove with a diving clothesline …
The sound of a wickedly dangerous chop caught Declan square in his chest and he was swatted out of mid-air like a fly!
Another red mark was on his chest accompanying the first chop he took earlier. Now that Warren was back on his feet, he shook off the attack from Declan Rich and went nuts.
One big clothesline to take him down.
Two big clotheslines to take him down.
Declan was forced up and whipped into a corner where he was splattered by a big clothesline in the corner. He was then whipped off to the other side of the ring and crushed even harder with another big splash in the corner if there was one. Warren even picked him up in a fall away slam position and simply threw him over head!
Warren didn’t even bother to fall with the fall away slam – he just straight up chucked Declan across the ring behind him!
Now he was locked onto Declan Rich and the member of the Rich Family was limping upward. Warren dragged his feet on the ground and smiled before he shot off the ropes like a rocket.
Warren’s signature spear cut through the Rich Family member like a hot knife through butter!
“One for me, son, one for me!” yelled Leon.
Warren knew exactly what he was talking about as he lifted Declan right into his submission finisher that was handed down from his father and he had been using since his return to NBW last year.
The wrist-clutch version of the torture rack nearly broken Declan in half and he yelled out verbally because his wrists were both restrained.
“I GIVE UP, I GIVE UP!!!”
The bell rang almost immediately after that! Warren Spade notched another one in the win column leading right up to 25 To Life! Fenton Woods and Leon Spade clapped for the Number One Contender’s big victory!
Spade let Declan fall to the ground after the submission and Donny went to help Declan out of the ring. Nursing sore wounds and possibly wounded pride, there was no doubt going to be hell to pay when Freddie Rich was about to lay into his brothers.
Warren Spade raised his hand and celebrated with the cheering crowd while Leon Spade stood up from his seat and clapped for his son’s win tonight. This win was proof that he was no doubt ready for whatever Derecho was about to bring at 25 To Life.
But we may not have to wait that long.
“Charisma” by WASP played and cut the celebration short!
Derecho had promised earlier to Jack Harmen that he didn’t care about the No Contact clause placed right before their title match! The last two shows had been full of carnage and mayhem between the two men and the King of Hell was about to make it a third!
“Come on, asshole!” yelled Warren.
Warren and Fenton watched Derecho approach the ring. Other than his music playing he waited for no cue whatsoever and still had the chair in hand that he promised to use on Spade tonight! It seemed like he didn’t care about losing his title. The Monster of the Mid-South stood his ground and dared Derecho to enter the ring.
What happened next …
The chair Derecho brought out was jabbed right into the throat of Leon Spade!!!
The Golden Lion was a retired wrestler who hadn’t been in action in over a decade! He was not an active competitor and Derecho just struck him down for no good reason other than to stick it to Warren Spade!
Warren immediately bolted out of the ring and ran over to check on his father while Derecho tried to move up the ramp. EZ Blaze came running down to ringside as well to confront Derecho, but the NBW World champion dropped the chair and climbed into the crowd to retreat from the scene!
Leon was a giant himself, but hadn’t been involved in action in years. He was not prepared for what Derecho had done and now Warren and Fenton crowded around the fallen Leon Spade.
“Somebody get some help! Now!” yelled Fenton.
Warren stayed at his father’s side but the crowd was in shock over what they just saw. It was a cheap shot on a man who truthfully only had a few good years on the Earth left, and a low one at that.
“GET HELP NOW DAMN IT!!!!”
Warren’s voice boomed loudly and EMTs came down to ringside to check on The Golden Lion. He was a guest of Warren Spade and of NBW, but nobody knew that this night was going to end the way it did for Spade and family.
As if Derecho couldn’t get any lower than he had by attacking Fenton Woods and EZ Blaze over the course of their rivalry …
Now he went and attacked Warren’s father.
The ultimate low.
The Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone
We visited the off-access areas of the EpiCenter again in the episode. The broad shoulders the camera focused on would be a familiar one to viewers of this broadcast, for he was making his third appearance. It’s like he thought the show was his own personal birthday party, or something.
Editorial jousts aside, Quinlan slid into the frame and was marching, no, bouncing his way towards… somewhere. It seemed serious, as the earbuds that streamed a steady mix of music into his brain at all times where laying on his shoulders, completely mute. Yes, he was just as focused as he would be in front of the faithful, prepared to grapple with some great threat.
But what’s that about making God laugh?
“What are?” the second sound fx to this segment, the creaking open door the first.
While Quinlan was left temporarily speechless, the viewing audience laid eyes upon the gargoyle-pretty visage of a man infamous throughout various wrestling promotions all throughout North America. He was put together to look like the villain of a sixties timepiece of the late throes of the London Underground gangs of yore: Slate gray tweed vest overtop a crisp white oxford, rolled at the sleeves, all tucked into onyx slacks that hung over highly polished black wing tips. To complete the entire thing, the diminutive man stood ‘neath a bowler cap and grasped at wooden cane with the hand adorned by a gold and black rolex.
The very picture of sleaze.
“Shady, what are you doing here? My contract is good for at least another nine months, so this couldn’t be about me, unless,” his words trailed as the shot panned to fit both men into frame while the stood at a comfortable distance. “They wouldn’t be thinking of releasing yours truly? Not before I get a chance to actually throw fists with Zed.”
“You shouldn’t speak that much, Q. It ruins the whole Zen Warrior thing you’ve been trying so hard to pull off for the last decade.”
The conversation was personal, familiar. Each man obviously knew the other, and Quinlan had strongly hinted to the agent-client relationship.
“Nah, t’ain’t a thing of the sort. But look at you, finally doing something right. Just remember who got you this fifth crack at doing something of note.”
Quinlan did gymnastics with his expressions, dancing from calm, to inquisitive, to happy, to untrusting, back to calm and finally settling with untrusting. “And I know for damn sure you didn’t find yourself in Saint Lou just to pat my back. No, there’s something.”
“This place is making you paranoid, boy-o. Say, that Pay-Per-View is abroad, ain’t it?”
“Over the big, blue Pacific. Singapore, to be specific.”
Annoyed by the lyrical tones the response went a little like, “Do yourself a favour while you are in the land, and pick up a broad and sow some seed. Not literally of course, keep that shit wrapped. No telling what you’d get from the hookers in that place. They don’t still put ground up glass inside there, do they?”
“Shady, you’re speaking in bullshit, again,” Quinlan knew it was his native tongue. “And gross.”
“What I am trying to say is that your wound tighter than a virgin.”
“Ohhh, now I thinks I gots it; this is about Chuckles and the Ass Clown, isn’t it?” Quinlan finally pinned the tail on the ass.
“And if it be? Listen, they ain’t a threat to you, especially for the guy that just won the two-five spot for the cluster of all f**ks.”
“Actually, I had a plan about that that I was just going to pass by Flyer.”
“Well, don’t leave me in suspense,” ‘Shady’ pried.
Quinlan leaned in to whisper the greatest plan in the world ever thought of, or so he’d thought.
A sigh is what he got back. “Still an idiot, I see,” ‘Shady’ shuck his head.
“Heard that one already,” Quinlan offered, already walking away for his ...agent? And when he’d reached the door to our Commissioners’ haunt, he turned back and offered a nearly evil smile to the audience and his compatriot.
“All the talent in the world, but not a single f**king impulse for winning,” the final words of this segment from a man the nbW fans will soon come to know as ‘Shady’ Grady Patrick.
The In Crowd had made a lot of enemies (and I stress a lot) in the short time they came together. They had pulled off separate crimes of the century including the A-List robbing the seemingly unstoppable … Unstoppables of their Dynasty Tag Team titles. Tyson XL and Vic Gravender have their rematch clause set for 25 To Life against the A-List, however Price, El Principe, and their new friends “Hot Sauce” Raul Ramirez and Blitzkrieg champion “Big Talk” Jake Tockwell had spent the last two shows getting the better of their rivals.
The In Crowd viciously attacked Gravender on Slam 88 making him miss a few weeks of action. On Slam 89, Tockwell made his first successful defense of the Blitzkrieg title against Unstoppables member Tyson XL and then punctuated that by laying out Spike Saunders in a vicious four-on-one assault. Now in a blockbuster six-man tag team main event before the big Blitzkrieg and Dynasty Tag title matches, tonight the giants had the chance to get back at their rivals!
Backstage, we see not just the duo of El Principe and VIP leave their private locker room - nope! With them now is “Hot Sauce” Raul Ramirez and Blitzkrieg champion Jake Tockwell!
“Greatest entrance of all time right now! In Crowd about to bring the greatness!” yelled Ramirez.
Hot Sauce was wearing a fashionable headset that was wired into the arena speakers so you could hear every little comment about how great his clients were under his breath! The In Crowd made the short walk to the curtains where a couple of guards salute them and march towards the ringside area. Waiting there, and we're talking about a matter of yards, is a limousine. One of the guards hands the esteemed individuals over to a chauffeur, who opens the door for them to get in.
Ridiculously slow and short, the driver escorts them for ten seconds or so prior to getting out himself and holding the door yet again, this time for the ego-inflated outfit to step out.
A red carpet leading to the steps is trodden by the foursome, Principe in front, and they wipe their feet again before the ring is graced with THEIR presence.
“I’ll do this part, Brent!” yelled Hot Sauce. “Weighing a combined four hundred and seventy-eight pounds...The Crown Prince of Lucha Libre, El Principe and his partner VIP...they are Dynasty Tag team champions the A-LIST!”
El Principe and Victor Ingram Price clinked their belts together!
“And last, but certainly not least … BIG TALK AND THE HOT SAUCE COMING AT YA!!!”
Boos came out from the crowd and they were very loud at that!
“Weighing in at two-hundred fifty-six pounds …”
Tockwell quickly grabbed Hot Sauce’s headset and yelled right into it.
“And the man that’s going to beat the Colossal JAG within an inch of his miserable life at 25 To Life, then go on to win said 25 to Life match! The Big Talk! The Talk of the Town! Mr. Mic himself! Your next NBW World champion! Big! Talk! JAKE!!! TOCKWELL!!!”
VIP and El Principe applauded for his self-indulgent entrance and it was not long before the entire In Crowd were front and center just like they liked it!
Something tells me they won’t like this for long.
"Weighing a combined four hundred and seventy-eight pounds...The Crown Prince of Lucha Libre, El Principe and his partner VIP...they are A-LIST!"
They're in for the fight of their life.
A Warrior's Call indeed.
And it brought out two former World heavyweight champions and the most dominant nbW tandem of all time.
"Their opponents...weighing in at a combined SIX HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-SEVEN POUNDS...Tyson XL....Vic Gravender....THE UNSTOPPABLES!!!"
These guys were all business. While smacking the hands of eager fans on either side of the aisle, XL and Gravender had their game faces on. Vic was cleared by doctors to be here tonight and the human wrecking ball was angry at being left beaten by the four In Crowd members.A fully-fit Tyson XL stepped through the ropes routinely and warmed up while waiting for the World Class Badass. Prematurely perhaps, the bell tolled while Vic slapped Tyson on the back and headed to the right side of the ring. They were ready.
The In Crowd attacked!!!
As they were very adept at doing, the trio of NBW champions jumped all over their opposition before the Unstoppables could even get settled …
BUT VIC WAS FIGHTING BACK!!!
The former NBW World champion had waited two fortnights to get here and so he greeted El Principe with a gnarly head butt that dropped him to the ground. Victor’s height gave him an advantage to fight back and those two began exchanging fists.
“SPIKE IT UP!”
No more time for intros! “The Colossus” Spike Saunders wasn’t waiting for 25 To Life to get his hands on Jake Tockwell. Tockwell saw him coming to the ring and slid out to meet him at the entrance when Spike doubled him over with a knee to his abs!
“No!” yelled Hot Sauce.
As cocky as they were starting out, the In Crowd’s bravado was getting beaten out of them just as fast!
With a mighty crash, Tockwell was slammed right into the guardrail courtesy of the Colossus!
Just as fast as he was taken to task by Spike, El Principe tried to gang up on Vic Gravender when he wasn’t looking, but he came face to face with the business end of Tyson XL’s size fifteen boot! Vic pulled El Principe’s mask and he was thrown over the top rope with ease!
“You sons of bitches ... “ yelled VIP.
The other half of the Dynasty tag team champs tried to attack Tyson but Vic returned the favor from before. A head butt from Unstoppables Vic sent A-List Vic through the ropes. Saunders joined his tag team partners for the evening inside the ring while Tyson was getting ready to fly.
SUICIDE DIVE THROUGH THE ROPES!!!
Tyson was a tall man so he dove sideways through the ropes, but he managed to get himself a triple word score by landing on all three members of their opposition!
”TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON! TYSON!”
Chants were loud and proud for the hometown favorite but he was too busy shutting them out so he could focus on the match. Tyson grabbed Victor out from the pile of the In Crowd bodies and he rolled him inside. The match was now about to officially begin after a very hot start!
Tyson’s first official move of the match was jumping clear over the ropes and landing close to a two-hundred ninety pound slingshot senton right across the chest of Victor Ingram Price! Tyson grabbed VIP’s neck and he tried to cover right away!
Jake Tockwell to the rescue! The Memphis veteran threw VIP’s foot on the rope before the three-count could possibly happen in record time and saved the day for the In Crowd.
“Pay attention, zebra, foot on the ropes!” yelled Tockwell.
Short-lived. As a seven foot three Colossus came charging around the corner and CUT Tockwell in HALF with a massive spear to the delight of the fans. Inside the ring Tyson popped VIP off the mat and up in the air for a flapjack.
Saunders had agreed to this match because one of the three on the opposite side of the ring was the man he wanted to permanently sew the mouth shut of. Any other third, he’d have left it to the Unstoppables. They’ve already shown their capabilities and even put himself and Spade down.
That same capability was put on display in the ring as Tyson ran through VIP with a thunderous clothesline. All the while El Principe watched on from the apron, while Raul checked on Big Talk. Big Talk’s ribs probably felt like they had been crunched by the mass of Saunders’s spear. After weeks of the In Crowd’s numerous schemes, attacks on the Unstoppables and the Colossus himself, it looked like their heinous actions were finally coming home to roost.
Victor leaned back into his corner where Tyson XL made the tag to Vic Gravender. The two monsters quickly tried to double team Price with what appeared to be prepping for a stereo shoulder block. They launched him into the ropes ..
“Nope, nope, nope, nope!”
Hot Sauce and El Principe reached over and grabbed onto the Californian Comet to pull him from the safety of the ring. Saunders stepped inside the ring as the In Crowd were retreating.
“We’re done here! Not tonight!”
The official started to count.
Spike Saunders, Vic Gravender and Tyson XL all looked at the In Crowd with disbelief. This was a six-man tag and it looked like the champions were about to take a powder.
The In Crowd were halfway up the ramp with all of their ill-gotten titles in hand.
Vic and Tyson were purely disgusted by the tactics of the In Crowd.
The match had literally started maybe a minute or two before hand after the pomp and circumstance of their entrances and just like that, it was over! The Colossus and the Unstoppables were irate by taking the victory by way of a count-out just days before their respective title matches, but the In Crowd didn’t care.
Vic Gravender was a lyrical poet of course and the massive New Yorker had enough of their antics!
He and Tyson climbed out of the ring with the Colossus towering behind them!
The In Crowd disappeared behind the curtain and both Vic and Tyson went after them …
NOT SO FAST!
Brady and Strauss aka the Law ran out and instead met up with the Unstoppables on the entrance ramp! The hired guns and personal security for the A-List had been lying in wait at the gorilla position in case things went south for any reason!
And NOW the A-List decided to jump in! It was a potential five-on-two with both members of the Law trying to subdue Vic Gravender and all three members of the A-List ganging up on Tyson XL!
“Ha! You fell for it, you dumb JAG!” yelled Tockwell.
The attacks continued until a chair collided with the side of Brady’s head!
Strauss turned around …
Spike’s decision to pull up the rear ended up being a blessing in disguise for the attempted set-up by the A-List!
The Colossus had an equalizer in the form of a steel chair and swung wildly like a madman at the Law, giving Gravender a leg up.
“Get out of my way!” yelled Vic.
The closest the New Yorker would ever say to a thank you as he almost tripped over Brady and shoved Spike aside to help out his tag team partner on the aisleway!
Tyson was having the boots put to him against the barricade by both VIP and El Principe until a massive Battering Ram head butt landed center into VIP’s chest!
Tyson grabbed El Principe and threw him over the barricade and now, the In Crowd realized their plan had just backfired! The monsters fought back against the odds and now the Unstoppables were chasing the A-List into the crowd!!!
The place was going nuts right now because inside the ring, the Blitzkrieg Champion was being stalked by his 25 To Life opponent, Spike Saunders!
“I’m gonna bust you up, you Colossal zero!” yelled Tockwell.
He had his belt in hand …
But the mighty rock disguised as the Colossus’s fist collided with the always-moving jaw of Jake Tockwell and now he was left in a punch-drunken stupor, dropping the belt at the same time! Spike yelled out to the crowd and grabbed Tockwell by his neck.
Tockwell had just been crushed almost through the canvas with a powerful F5 by the former NBW World champion!
The Colossus and the Unstoppables had just made a powerful statement tonight after weeks of the In Crowd dividing and conquering each of the monsters separately in the last few shows.
Raul Ramirez was petrified at ringside and helpless to do anything but watch the Colossus tower over his star client!
“SPIKE IT UP” was now playing loudly, but just barely drowned out by the loud ovation he was getting for beating down Jake Tockwell. He raised the Blitzkrieg championship in his mighty fist and raised it before he dropped the belt on Tockwell’s chest.
Spike saluted the crowd and stepped over the ropes to leave while admiring the beatdown he had just handed Tockwell after weeks of attacks. He shot a glance at Hot Sauce and Tockwell’s manager fell on his ass, afraid to do anything unless he feel what the Blitzkrieg champion just felt.
Despite the In Crowd’s best efforts to set up a sneak attack against their opponents, the monsters had persevered. 25 To Life was just around the corner and if Spike and the Unstoppables could dominate Tockwell and the A-List just like they did tonight, the In Crowd wouldn’t have any gold by the time that show was over!
NBW Presents: 25 To Life
LIVE from the Float at Mariana Bay, Singapore
Cleary another fine mess - Mitchell
Battle Royal - Mitchell
Father and Son Bonding - Markus
HMMS VS Flanagan & Doherty - Seth
Cash Rules Everything Around Me - Mitchell/Markus
You've Made a Colossa Mistake - Dusty
Xiang's Over the Top Rope Challenge - Seth
It's Not Over so I AIM to finish it - Josh
I want to Believe - Ernie
You Don't Go Against Family - Seth
Ohiyama VS Little Ricky - Seth
Walking into the Lioness Den - Dusty
Bad News and Bold Words - Gorman/Markus
Warren Spade VS Declane Rich - Markus/Josh
The Knowledge Reigns Supreme Over Nearly Everyone - Mitchell
Main Event: Unstoppables/Saunders VS In Crowd - Markus